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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,610

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Spotted on YouTube:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Making waves on Facebook:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Spotted on YouTube:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Just landed via Twitch:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

Broadcasted on X:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

2 months ago

0

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Welcome to the ultimate escape room: reliving your high school reunion! 🎓💃 Can you navigate the drama, dodge the awkward conversations, and find your way out without getting sucked into the black hole of reminiscing about questionable fashion choices and cringeworthy moments? Good luck, dear player! 🤣 #EscapeRoomGoneWrong"

activity, escape, escape room, event, friends, fun, fun activity, high, high school, humorous, humorous situation, just, memory, nostalgia, reunion, room, school, situation, social, social event

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

0

2 months ago

busy, communication, dating, guy, never, new, noticed, relationship, romance
“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

0

2 months ago

act, alcohol, buy, cigarettes, day, done, humor, i, kindness, random, random act, stranger, teens
Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

0

2 months ago

business, call, conversation, disguise, humor, me, prank, self-talk, speaking, take, voice
Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

0

2 months ago

confidence, forever, fun, Heelys, humor, ride, skate, swag
Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, enlarge, humor, instructions, lifestyle, middle, middle age, pictures, take, technology, welcome
Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, embarrassing, embarrassment, funny moment, humor, interrupt, interruption, me, moment, myself, self-deprecation, situation, social, social situation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on X this month:

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

41 shares on TikTok this month:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

22 shares on Discord this month:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,399

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Just shared via Slack:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Making waves on X:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Just shared via WeChat:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Going viral on YouTube:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Trending via YouTube:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Going viral on Snapchat:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Making waves on Messenger:

January is the Monday of the year.

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