Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I am single, please disturb me!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,361

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Spotted on Messenger:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Breaking via Instagram:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Going bananas on TikTok:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
When multitasking becomes a superpower, but nobody gets the cape. 🦸‍♂️🦸‍♀️💸

decision, employment, existing, extra, hiring, humor, job, management, office, paying, role, salary, staff, staffing, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

0

2 months ago

argue, conversation, humor, lost, loud, politics, someone, start, survival, talking, woods
Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

0

2 months ago

beverage, coke, crisp, diet, Diet Coke, drink, humor, i, moan, refreshment, soda
Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

0

2 months ago

eating, flirt, house, humor, me, relationship, show, snacks, start, unexpected, unexpected visit, visit
“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, cyber, digital, error, frustration, mad, me, new, old, online, password, programming, security, technology
My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

0

2 months ago

advice, kid, kids, kindergarten, money, saving, start
Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

0

4 months ago

age, apocalypse, dark, dark age, downturn, economic, economic downturn, future, humor, recession, sarcasm, slang, worry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Threads this month:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

84 shares on X this month:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Alexa, mute my children.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Just landed via TikTok:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Just landed via Instagram:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Trending via WhatsApp:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Spotted on Twitch:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Seen just now on Reddit:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨