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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Spotted on Discord:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

Trending via TikTok:

I had too much to think last night.

Trending via Twitch:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Spotted on X:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Just shared via Twitch:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Broadcasted on Instagram:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Seen just now on YouTube:

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
"Steering the wheel is for grown-ups, but at least the backseat is a safe space! 😂🚗🧸"

analogy, car, children, driving, emotional, emotional regulation, emotions, feelings, health, humor, mental, mental health, regulation, self-control, stuff, trunk, want

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Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Discord this month:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

91 shares on Slack this month:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Just shared via Reddit:

(flirting) You’ll be the death of me.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Spotted on TikTok:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Shared recently on Twitch:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Trending via Twitch:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Going viral on Reddit:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Spotted on Reddit:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

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Activity Log ✨

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Fun fact: sexual tension is more fun than the sex itself.

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Fun fact: sexual tension is more fun than the sex itself.

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨