Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Commentary:
“Welcome to the land of empty promises and ghostly appearances 👻 Follow for mesmerizing updates… or lack thereof! 😂 #InstagramLife”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Mike is short for Micycle.

    Commentary:
    Well, that certainly explains why Mike’s energy is always in cyclical 😉. Who knew a simple name abbreviation could lead to such a striking revelation! 🚴‍♂️ #MicycleMike

  • “Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the eternal question: ‘Are you busy tomorrow?’ 🤔 Well, my availability hinges on the nature of your request. Will it be tackling Mount Laundry, defeating the dishes, or embarking on a noble quest to find the remote control? 🧹🍽️🗡️ Let me know, and I’ll consider rearranging my hectic schedule of Netflix marathons and cat naps accordingly! 😄”

  • If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

    Commentary:
    “Warning: Once you’re in my life, you’re either holding a special place in my heart or simply providing me with a good cheesy fix… 🧀💕 Choose your role wisely! 😄”

  • Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

    Commentary:
    “Reading health books can be a risky business… One wrong piece of advice and you might end up six feet under! 📚⚠️💀 Better stick to self-diagnosing with the internet, right? 😉”

  • Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew party planning could also involve a hint of danger? 🎉🤕 Just remember, swinging blindfolded at a piñata might lead to some unintentional dodgeball skills! 🎊⚾️”

  • Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

    Commentary:
    “Oh, I see we’ve entered the ‘telepathy’ phase of our conversation! 🤔💭 Don’t worry, I’ll start working on my mind-reading skills right away. Just give me a sec to find my crystal ball 🔮😂”