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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.
  • I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.
  • I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.
  • I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.
  • I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.
  • Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.