Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,719

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Making waves on Slack:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Trending via Threads:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Spotted on TikTok:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Breaking via Pinterest:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like I'm about to start my new career as a professional coin juggler 💰🏃‍♂️✨

account, bank, bank account, cash, character, close, finance, game, hedgehog, humor, keep, me, money, saving, sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog, video, video game character

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

0

5 months ago

advice, am, bad, call, calling, care, communication, humor, i, radio, radio station, relationship, station
It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

0

2 months ago

celebration, day, expectations, Groundhog, holiday, humor, i, love, ok, relationship, single, Valentine
Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

0

2 months ago

bed, going, humor, poetry, red, relaxation, roses, roses are red, sleep
Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

0

2 months ago

chaos, comedy, humor, life, movy, running, zombie
I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

0

2 months ago

anatomy, arms, confusion, education, even, figure, humor, i, medical, medical school, position, school, sleep, sleep position, teach, where
If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

0

2 months ago

around, call, day, ever, friendship, humor, i, me, need, night, procrastination, return, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

22 shares on Telegram this month:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

88 shares on Discord this month:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

86 shares on Discord this month:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

39 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Imagine being social on social media.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Spotted on Messenger:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Just landed via Pinterest:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Freshly posted on X:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨