Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Parenting tip: Want to lose weight? Just have kids. You'll skip the gym and burn calories chasing after food scraps and discarded snacks all day! 🏃‍♂️💸🗑️ #ParentingStruggles #FloorFoodies"

dollars, floor, food, great, having, humor, i, kids, little, love, money, parenting, spending, trash, week

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

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1 month ago

alphabet, every, humor, letter, music, pace, song, sprint, sweet, take, time, timing
Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

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2 months ago

body, body image, doctor, humor, image, life, negativity, office, scale, self-care
This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

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2 months ago

bouncer, date, frightened, humor, lady, lucky, night, night out, pain, physically, relationship, world
If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

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3 weeks ago

beef, celebrity, conflict, government, humor, lost, media, online, online beef, politics, pop, pop star, social, social media, star
Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

0

2 months ago

betrayal, bus, call, day, hard, humor, just, river, sarcasm, sell, someone, throwing
Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

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2 months ago

conversation, dating, easier, fun, humor, me, relationship, single, still, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

43 shares on TikTok this month:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

73 shares on Instagram this month:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

59 shares on Instagram this month:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

71 shares on Slack this month:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

83 shares on Threads this month:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Spotted on X:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Making waves on YouTube:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I think my type is a nice person.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Seen just now on Twitch:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Breaking via Telegram:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Breaking via Slack:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨