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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Introverts donโ€™t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3โ€“5 business days.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ผ๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has shared:

When you say โ€œYouโ€™re going to hate me for this,โ€ youโ€™re making a very large assumption that I donโ€™t hate you already.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ผ๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

You know the trouble with real life? Thereโ€™s no danger music.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has shared:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,261

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on Snapchat:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Making waves on Discord:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Just shared via WeChat:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Just shared via Messenger:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Trending via Pinterest:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Just landed via Threads:

Donโ€™t ring my doorbell unless youโ€™re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Just shared via Messenger:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Making waves on Twitch:

Iโ€™m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Funny quote about parenting struggles, highlighting the chaos of feeding and waste with kids.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Parenting tip: Want to lose weight? Just have kids. You'll skip the gym and burn calories chasing after food scraps and discarded snacks all day! ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ—‘๏ธ #ParentingStruggles #FloorFoodies"

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars โญ

90 shares on Telegram this month:

Why would I work from home when I donโ€™t even work from work?

19 shares on Threads this month:

Iโ€™m only dead on the outside.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

I prefer people who actually know whatโ€™s going on.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her familyโ€™s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

80 shares on Slack this month:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone thatโ€™s in a bad mood.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

โ€œIโ€™m sure itโ€™ll turn upโ€ โ€“ Translation: Iโ€™m bored of helping you look.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid tooโ€ฆ when I was alive.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think youโ€™re really cute.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If she says โ€œitโ€™s fine,โ€ youโ€™re probably in trouble.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,371

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡จ has bookmarked:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, itโ€™s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess Iโ€™ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ซ has downloaded:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

I canโ€™t believe Iโ€™m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ญ has downloaded:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spotted on WeChat:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Going viral on TikTok:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Making waves on YouTube:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Just shared via Slack:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Live now on Threads:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Making waves on Messenger:

I donโ€™t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Trending via Pinterest:

Working your entire life so you can ‘enjoy’ a couple of years when you’re close to death is the biggest scam of all time.

Going viral on Pinterest:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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