Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,264

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Seen just now on Threads:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Seen just now on Twitch:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Spotted on Instagram:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Trending via Facebook:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Breaking via X:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Trending via Instagram:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

21 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you’ve discovered the true meaning of "stuck in bed 😂❤️🛌."

anything, bed, couple, couples, done, girlfriend, humor, i, laziness, leave, live, living, living together, procrastination, relationship, together

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

0

2 months ago

10k, fitness, humor, joke, just, me, nose, running, runny, signed
My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

0

2 months ago

budget, celebration, everyone, firework, happy, humor, independence, july, neighbor, sarcasm, unemployed, wish
No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, eyesight, facial, facial hair, fuzzy, hair, humor, i, me, mean, middle, middle age, perception, self-deprecation, yes
Not today, Satan, but next week works.

0

2 months ago

delay, devil, humor, next, procrastination, refusal, sarcasm, Satan, scheduling, today, week, works
Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

0

2 months ago

church, cleaner, cleaning, humor, i, job, job loss, loss, lost, removal, stain, stain removal, stains, still, window, window cleaner
I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

0

2 months ago

cake, carrot, cooking, dessert, eat, eating, food, healthy, healthy eating, humor, i, irony, later, need, vegetable, vegetables

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

23 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

28 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Trending via Reddit:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Just landed via YouTube:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Live now on Twitch:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Breaking via Instagram:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Live now on WeChat:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Breaking via YouTube:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Going viral on Threads:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨