Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,472

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Just shared via Messenger:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Live now on Threads:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Just shared via Instagram:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Spotted on YouTube:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Just shared via Threads:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Just landed via Discord:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Trending via Pinterest:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

You’re my least favourite notification.

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh sure, because nothing lifts the spirits like becoming a blanket burrito and mastering the art of overthinking! 🌧️🛌🤔

am, bad, bad mood, beautiful, beautiful day, behavior, better, compulsive, compulsive behavior, day, depressed, depression, dwell, dwelling, humor, i, inside, irony, mood, sarcasm, sit, sitting, sitting inside

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

0

4 months ago

age, delete, deletion, humor, i, media, old, post, remember, self-awareness, social, social media, sometimes, too
I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

0

2 months ago

am, exaggeration, humor, i, joke, late, late night, million, night, procrastination, staying, staying up, time, tonight
Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, better, drunk, fun, honesty, humor, left, people, social, things, unsaid
Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

0

2 months ago

breakup, emotion, fire, heart, humor, joke, relationship, rumor, sarcasm, street, word
You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, beauty, gift, gift wrapping, good, humor, presents, talent, wrapping
Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

0

4 days ago

explaining, humor, judge, judgment, just, me, much, myself, please, sarcasm, too, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

16 shares on Facebook this month:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

44 shares on Discord this month:

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

99 shares on Discord this month:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Spotted on YouTube:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Trending via Twitch:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Just landed via Reddit:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Shared recently on X:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Just landed via Messenger:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨