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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,236

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Trending via Telegram:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Trending via Snapchat:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Just shared via TikTok:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Live now on Reddit:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Finally, a book I definitely *won't* put on my shelf. 😂📚 #ReversePsychologyWin"

am, book, buy, humor, i, irony, persuasion, please, psychological, psychological trick, psychology, reverse, reverse psychology, sarcasm, trick, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

0

7 days ago

cancel, cancel plans, cancellation, excuse, humor, i, plans, prophecy, said, sorry
The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

0

2 months ago

body, design, human, human body, humor, irony, life, maintenance, much, question, thing
I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

0

2 months ago

fun, gathering, humor, invite, later, party, people, phones, social, stare, want
I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

0

2 months ago

card, credit, credit card, debt, finance, humor, irresponsibly, joke, money, spending, used
I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

0

2 months ago

annoying, cat, cats, compliment, humor, i, meow, personality, playful, sweet, think
You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

0

2 months ago

account, bank, cash, depressed, depression, finances, financial, financial joke, health, humor, income, joke, just, mental, mental health, money, need, sarcasm, wealth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Trending via Pinterest:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Shared recently on Threads:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Trending via WeChat:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Just landed via Slack:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Spotted on Twitch:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Breaking via Discord:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Making waves on Facebook:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨