Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,410

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

Just shared via Slack:

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

Breaking via Instagram:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Making waves on Messenger:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Trending via Slack:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Finally, a book I definitely *won't* put on my shelf. 😂📚 #ReversePsychologyWin"

am, book, buy, humor, i, irony, persuasion, please, psychological, psychological trick, psychology, reverse, reverse psychology, sarcasm, trick, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

0

2 months ago

chance, group, humor, i, ignored, ignoring, interaction, large, large group, love, niche, niche reference, reference, references, sarcasm, social, social interaction
Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

0

2 months ago

communication, dream, gwyneth, Gwyneth Paltrow, humor, i, last, me, message, night, paltrow, plan
That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad things, break, cookie, frustration, good, good people, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, milk, moment, people, snack, things
It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

0

1 week ago

bed, bedtime, bedtime conflict, bedtime routine, bedtime struggle, child, conflict, little, parenthood, people, put, routine, seems, sleep, struggle, unfair, unfairness, want
I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

0

2 months ago

banter, breakfast, eat, eating, humor, i, jokes, posts, sarcasm, witty, yours
If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

0

2 months ago

Android, arguing, check, communication, ever, humor, just, parenting, sarcasm, say, something, sure, technology, teen

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

31 shares on Discord this month:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

10 shares on Slack this month:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

87 shares on Slack this month:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

71 shares on X this month:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Just landed via Pinterest:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Seen just now on Discord:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Trending via Instagram:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Going viral on Slack:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

Just landed via Reddit:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Just shared via Twitch:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨