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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1138 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,300

Funny Quotes Topics

14,215

Funny Quotes Images

11,300

5 minutes ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Making waves on X:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Going viral on Telegram:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Going viral on X:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

6 months ago

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Flies 🪰- nature's tiny villains, always up to no good! 🦟 They think they're so sly with their hand-rubbing tactics, but they can't outsmart a simple open window. 😂 Maybe they're just trying to start a fly uprising? 🤔 Watch out, world, the flies are coming for us!"

annoyance, disgusting, even, fly, hands, hate, humor, i, insect, little, open, plotting, rub, together, window

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1138 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,300

Funny Quotes Topics

14,215

Funny Quotes Images

11,300

5 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Making waves on Facebook:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Just shared via Threads:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Spotted on Reddit:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Just landed via Instagram:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Making waves on Messenger:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

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