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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Spotted on Facebook:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Freshly posted on Discord:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Just shared via WeChat:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Going viral on WeChat:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Irony level: 💎💰 Apply generously… with a side of financial panic! 😂💸

advertising, application, beauty, consumer, consumer humor, course, expensive, humor, i, love, luxury, luxury products, products, sarcasm, say, skincare

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

0

3 months ago

being, compliment, contradiction, humor, insult, irony, me, mule, okay, passing, racing, reaction, slow, someone, speed
Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

0

2 months ago

apology, awkwardness, distraction, eye, flirting, humor, i, joke, misunderstanding, playful, something, sorry, thought
When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

0

2 months ago

document, drafting, herein, humor, jargon, legal, legal document, legal jargon, over, paprika, thing, word, wordplay, writing
She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

0

2 months ago

comparison, day, front, front-row, humor, parking, parking spot, rainy, rainy day, rare, row, spot, uniqueness
Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

0

3 months ago

afternoon, beverage, california, coffee, crying, emotions, humor, iced, iced coffee, most
I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

0

2 months ago

burn, calorie, cat, exercise, fitness, humor, i, pet, petting, relaxation, wonder

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

17 shares on X this month:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

29 shares on Slack this month:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

87 shares on YouTube this month:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

64 shares on Discord this month:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Trending via Slack:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Seen just now on WeChat:

In banana years, I am bread.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Going viral on Messenger:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

Making waves on Facebook:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Going bananas on TikTok:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨