13 funny consumer quotes - Wordgag

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

May 30, 2026

If you want to sell something to a woman, show her other women using it. If you want to sell something to a man, prove to him no other man has it.

May 29, 2026

Your soul is out of balance because you have fallen out of touch with your consumer demographic. Pay more attention to your personalized ads, let them flow through you.

May 29, 2026

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

May 29, 2026

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

May 29, 2026

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

May 28, 2026

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

May 28, 2026

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

May 27, 2026

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

May 27, 2026

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

May 23, 2026

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

May 21, 2026

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

May 21, 2026

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

May 19, 2026