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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,957

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Going viral on X:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Making waves on WeChat:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Trending via Facebook:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like the career equivalent of dropping the mic and strutting out of life's talent show! 😂🎤🕺

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

1 month ago
daily, daily life, dog, dogs, family, humor, kids, life, parenting, taxi, today, transportation
If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

1 month ago
again, away, exhaustion, forest, humor, insomnia, night, parenting, running, running away, sleep, tiredness, toddler, tonight
Not today, Satan, but next week works.

1 month ago
delay, devil, humor, next, procrastination, refusal, sarcasm, Satan, scheduling, today, week, works
Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

1 month ago
annoyance, bite, humor, insect, mosquito, relationship, season, summer
Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

1 month ago
acting, creativity, humor, i, joke, life, ly, me, moment, movie, never, self-deprecation, someone, told, weight
Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

1 month ago
actually, antique, attack, doll, fear, human, humans, humor, irony, majority, murder, people, porcelain, porcelain doll, rare, rarity, shark, shark attack

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Spotted on Instagram:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Just shared via TikTok:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Just shared via Facebook:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Spotted on X:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Just landed via WeChat:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Wake me up when I’m rich!

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

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Activity Log ✨

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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