Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,559

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Spotted on Discord:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Trending via Reddit:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Shared recently on Discord:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Seen just now on Twitch:

How is it still this week?

Live now on Messenger:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Making waves on Instagram:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the career equivalent of dropping the mic and strutting out of life's talent show! 😂🎤🕺

asked, best, best day, boss, day, hate, here, i, job, life, once, quit, quit job, resignation, said, simply, why, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, beautiful scenery, family, humor, observation, people, phones, pointing, road, road trip, scenery, travel, trip, vacation
Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

0

6 months ago

baby, baby on board, behind, board, car, car sticker, child, dealing, driver, drivers, humor, know, parenting, putting, right, road, road safety, safety, sticker, traffic, vehicle, wheel
Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

0

2 months ago

compliment, fashion, good, humor, look good, lose, love, me, potato, potato sack, relationship, sack, self-esteem, tell
Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

0

4 days ago

asking, communication, conversation, dating, end, flirting, humor, joke, just, relationship, sex, woman, women
A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

0

2 months ago

drinking, happening, humor, joke, just, me, peace, peaceful, power, red, red wine, relaxation, transition, wine
Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

0

2 months ago

accidental, accidental click, accidentally, activity, algorithm, click, different, Facebook, humor, identity, media, much, online, online activity, person, post, social, social media, technology, UFO

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Threads this month:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

81 shares on X this month:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Trending via Telegram:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Seen just now on Facebook:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Going viral on TikTok:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Just landed via Snapchat:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨