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Commentary:
When I open my DMs and see all the messages, I put on my best Sherlock Holmes hat and solve the mystery: case closed, wrong number 😂🔍📵

am, communication, DM, DMs, humor, i, ignore, media, message, online, online communication, promise, rejection, social, social media, soulmate

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My favorite color is sunshine.

1 month ago

bright, cheerful, color, favorite, positivity, sunshine
“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

1 month ago

advice, government, gun, humor, hurricane, irony, own, research, safety, shoot, skepticism, thanks
The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

2 weeks ago

empowerment, energy, girl, hack, humor, love, lover, real, self, self-love, yourself
Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

1 month ago

burger, cheese, food, God, humor, indulgence, intended, snack, wrapper
Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

1 month ago

anyone, bored, boredom, emotional, emotional manipulation, emotionally, hell, humor, interaction, manipulate, manipulation, sarcasm, social, social interaction, want
I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

4 months ago

am, communication, DM, DMs, humor, i, ignore, media, message, online, online communication, promise, rejection, social, social media, soulmate

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Just landed via Facebook:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Going bananas on Slack:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Making waves on Telegram:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

My favorite color is sunshine.

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

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I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My favorite color is sunshine.

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?