Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”