Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,475

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Just shared via TikTok:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Going bananas on Reddit:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Spotted on WeChat:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Just landed via Pinterest:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Just landed via Discord:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your negativity workout routine calls for ghosting marathons! 🏃‍♀️👻💨

attitude, day, humor, i, ignore, ignore someone, imagine, life, lifetime, resilience, rest, ruin, sarcasm, someone, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

0

6 months ago

1893, beloved, cooking, dramatic, duel, heartbreak, historical, i, just, lost, lost love, love, mine, never, soup, while, whispering
Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

0

2 months ago

ask, bills, financial, getting, home, introvert, just, me, money, paid, responsibility, self-care, stay, stay in, worth
Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

0

2 months ago

comedy, easily, fart, fear, humor, i, joke, lighthearted, me, scare
Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

0

2 months ago

25, bliss, couple, happy, humor, husband, irony, love, marriage, relationship
I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

0

2 months ago

bowl, cleaning, comfort, cream, distraction, guilty, guilty pleasure, hate, house, housework, i, ice, ice cream, lap, opera, pleasure, soap, soap opera, unexpected
I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

0

2 months ago

ad, algorithm, clicking, fashion, flannel, flannel shirt, humor, i, identity, Instagram, lumberjack, media, mistake, online, online shopping, shirt, shopping, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

67 shares on Discord this month:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

56 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

16 shares on Threads this month:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

41 shares on Slack this month:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Making waves on X:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Spotted on Slack:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Going viral on Discord:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Spotted on TikTok:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Trending via Pinterest:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨