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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,474

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Shared recently on Discord:

Time needs a speed limit.

Going viral on Reddit:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Breaking via Threads:

My New Year’s resolution is to emit a powerful beam of light.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Going viral on Messenger:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
After a 6-hour research session, we're officially qualified judges… of absolutely nothing! 👩‍⚖️🤷‍♀️🕵️‍♂️

6, after, best, best friend, conversation, friend, friendship, gossip, hours, humor, irony, judge, judgment, me, saying, spending

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, before, business, entrepreneur, every, humor, i, night, nights, own, run, small, small business, stress, suffer, Sunday, Sunday night, work
When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

0

2 months ago

asking, heart, humor, leg-bouncer, metaphor, own, someone, stop
Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, best, couple, dating, friends, friendship, girls, humor, jealousy, much, situation, social, social situation, third, third wheel, wheel, worse
My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, health, humor, iconic, mental, mental health, overthinking, personality, relatable, sarcasm, self-deprecating
Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

0

2 months ago

breathe, carbon, carbon dioxide, dioxide, humor, i, nature, plants, remember, reminder, self-worth, useless
Dying and being reincarnated as a beetle, and crawling to my old body’s grave, and digging down and living in my old ribcage.

0

2 days ago

afterlife, beetle, being, crawling, digging, dying, grave, humor, living, old, reincarnation, ribcage

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Threads this month:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

22 shares on X this month:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

67 shares on X this month:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

86 shares on Messenger this month:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

28 shares on Slack this month:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Spotted on Discord:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Trending via Telegram:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Just landed via X:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Trending via YouTube:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Live now on Pinterest:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Going viral on X:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Dying and being reincarnated as a beetle, and crawling to my old body’s grave, and digging down and living in my old ribcage.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨