Trendy Funny Quotes

  • The food hits different when it ain’t yours.
  • I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.
  • Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.
  • Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?
  • The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.
  • Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.