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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

331 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,924

Funny Quotes Topics

17,097

Funny Quotes Images

14,924

Updated

Dec 13, 2025

Users Online

3,920

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

Spotted on Slack:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Trending via Instagram:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
Absolutely! Here's a humorous comment you could use:
"Take notes, everyone! Compliment inflation is the only inflation we want! 😂😉💖"

compliment, confidence, flirting, humor, keep, man, men, particular, pretty, reason, relationship, shit, tell, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

2 months ago

bird, humor, i, insult, joke, person, relationship, sarcasm, shit
My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

1 month ago

bar, dog, expectations, greet, home, humor, i, impossible, should, wife
Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

1 month ago

email, every, gamble, humble, humility, humor, keep, me, mistakes, technology, typo, writing
“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

1 month ago

grace, humor, irony, me, never, self-deprecation, words
Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

1 month ago

banking, customer, customer service, days, frustration, irony, me, money, refund, seconds, service, take
Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

1 month ago

day, Friday, humor, just, proof, Sunday, time, time travel, travel, weekend

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Spotted on Facebook:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Spotted on Telegram:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Trending via Instagram:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Weddings should have a worst man.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

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Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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