Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Trying to declutter is like embarking on a quest to slay the dragon of excess…only to end up cuddling with it instead 🐉✨ Who knew that hoarding could be so cozy and comforting? #DragonDenDeclutterFail"

after, always, attempt, dragon, happiness, hoard, i, lie, me, nice, nice thing, possessions, purge, rediscover, thing, things

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55 shares on Telegram this month:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

30 shares on Threads this month:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Just shared via Telegram:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Just shared via Messenger:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Going viral on Reddit:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨