My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.