Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,643

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Seen just now on WeChat:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Making waves on WeChat:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Shared recently on X:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
So true! At least at home, my cat keeps me accountable 😸💻🥱

boss, doing, dude, home, humor, just, office, people, pretending, remote, remote work, think, work, work from home, working, workplace, workplace humor

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

0

2 months ago

activity, after, charge, chores, domestic, domestic life, dryer, fun, fun activity, humor, laundry, life, little, relaxation, should, tumble
I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

0

2 months ago

communication, exactly, humor, i, love, nonsense, reaction, saying, sense, stuff
You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

0

2 months ago

adult, emptiness, empty, every, expectations, happiness, happy, humor, irony, life, mailbox, time
I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

0

2 months ago

age, arguing, argument, living, peaceful, plan, raccoon, retirement, retirement plan, sounds, where, woods
Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

0

5 months ago

animal, conversation, cow, day, enjoying, every, humor, imagination, imagine, me, moo, nature, saying, Switzerland, view
I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

0

2 months ago

fall, history, humor, i, irony, question, reflection, Rome, stupid, wonder

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Slack this month:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

29 shares on Discord this month:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Live now on TikTok:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Just shared via TikTok:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Breaking via Facebook:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Making waves on Threads:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Trending via Threads:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨