Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I need a day off from myself.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,306

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Going viral on Reddit:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Going viral on Reddit:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Going viral on Reddit:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Making waves on Discord:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Spreading quickly via X:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like your DMs are going to be 90% more interesting now! 😉🔥 Keep slaying, influencer extraordinaire! 💁‍♂️💃 #StillGotIt"

attractiveness, beautiful, compliments, confidence, dating, follows, humor, me, media, new, self-esteem, social, social media, still, thing, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

0

2 months ago

20s, 30s, adventure, age, early, early 30s, emotional, emotional support, humor, Japan, late, late 20s, people, support, travel, trip
In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

0

4 days ago

academic, emotional, emotionally, financial, life, struggle, student, student life, three, university
Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

0

2 months ago

adult, baby, brat, corner, dancing, dirty, Dirty Dancing, girl, humor, lesson, movie, needs, nostalgia, right, teenager, watching
“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

0

6 months ago

chores, dish, dishes, dishwashing, humor, myth, pun, Sisyphus
Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

0

2 months ago

chocolate, dilemma, guilty, guilty pleasure, honesty, humor, i, kids, last, night, parenting, pleasure, snack
Netflix & by yourself.

0

2 months ago

activity, alone, date, entertainment, fun, fun activity, Netflix, self-care, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on X this month:

Not going is the new leaving early.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

13 shares on Slack this month:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being a little freak is my love language.

69 shares on Discord this month:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

83 shares on Discord this month:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Shared recently on Discord:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Just shared via Twitch:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Broadcasted on Slack:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Live now on Threads:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Shared recently on X:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Making waves on Slack:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Netflix & by yourself.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨