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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,324

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Trending via Reddit:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Shared recently on Reddit:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Going viral on Twitch:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Broadcasted on Discord:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Live now on Instagram:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Trending via WeChat:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Spotted on WeChat:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When imagination turns into a soap opera! 📱🎭💭

anxiety, back, bad, communication, creativity, excuse, head, humor, imagination, making, me, please, start, stuff, text, worry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily reminder, forget, humor, ly, motivation, positivity, reminder, self-talk, tell, today, yourself
The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

0

2 months ago

band, band name, Cranberry, creativity, fruit, great, humor, joke, music, name, work
Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

0

2 months ago

behavior, check, Christmas, humor, just, list, media, naughty, naughty list, online, online behavior, Santa, social, social media, technology, tradition
Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

0

2 months ago

balance, days, even, feel, forget, getting, hectic, humor, life, life balance, lose, much, never, overwhelming, perspective, phone, phone time, priorities, relief, sight, stress, stress relief, things, time, weeks
One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

0

2 months ago

accept, answer, asking, best, cooky, diet, humor, i, internet, irony, know, me, question, sarcasm, self-awareness, someone, website, WeightWatchers
They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

0

2 months ago

advice, diner, experience, food, going, humor, life, little, school, teach, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

62 shares on YouTube this month:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

53 shares on Discord this month:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

47 shares on X this month:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

11 shares on TikTok this month:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Just landed via Instagram:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Making waves on X:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Spotted on Slack:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨