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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

The hardest part of corporate life is pretending to care about things that don’t matter.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,717

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Spotted on Threads:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Going viral on WeChat:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Spotted on Twitch:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Just shared via YouTube:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

22 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about relationships and social media humorously suggesting men take posting seriously.

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Commentary:
A man posting relationship pics? That's like spotting a unicorn in the wild! 🦄📸

couple, dating, gender, gender role, humor, man, media, only, photo, photos, post, relationship, relationships, role, serious, social, social media

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53 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

74 shares on Threads this month:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

61 shares on Slack this month:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

80 shares on X this month:

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Live now on Reddit:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Spotted on Messenger:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Making waves on Discord:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Going bananas on Twitch:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Just shared via Pinterest:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Just landed via Telegram:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Trending via Snapchat:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Making waves on Discord:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

I love when the universe delivers receipts.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Keep the laugh going 😂

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

I love when the universe delivers receipts.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨