Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1776 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,938

Funny Quotes Topics

14,749

Funny Quotes Images

11,938

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Spotted on WeChat:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

Just shared via Pinterest:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Going viral on Messenger:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Spotted on Telegram:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Just shared via Facebook:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Just shared via Messenger:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a bed when you have a burrito guy who's also a pro tucker? 🌯💤 Just imagine the ultimate bedtime routine: burrito delivery, tuck-in service, and maybe a side of salsa for those spicy dreams! 🌶️😄 #SleepGoals"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1776 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,938

Funny Quotes Topics

14,749

Funny Quotes Images

11,938

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Live now on Instagram:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Shared recently on Threads:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Trending via Reddit:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Going viral on Facebook:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Making waves on Twitch:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴