Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Just call it quality control testing! 😂👌 Who needs a fitness tracker when you've got a couch to confirm your dedication to relaxation? 🛋️💪 #CouchPotatoGoals

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

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2 months ago

good, house, humor, illusion, know, living, magic, magician, mystery, never, secret, surprise, unexpected
I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

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4 months ago

asked, best, best day, boss, day, hate, here, i, job, life, once, quit, quit job, resignation, said, simply, why, work
Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

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2 months ago

affection, executive, executive order, forehead, forehead kiss, give, humor, kiss, lighthearted, little, me, order, playful, relationship, signed
The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

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2 months ago

better, budgeting, communicate, coupon, humor, me, needs, personality, self-talk, shopping, store
Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

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3 months ago

25, advice, after, age, before, brain, decision, girl, girls, humor, i, kid, kids, marriage, married, reasonable, relationship, us, why, working
Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

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4 months ago

35mm, 35mm film, camera, candid, film, film camera, girl, girls, humor, only, photograph, photography, thing, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Slack this month:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

36 shares on Slack this month:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Trending via Discord:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Breaking via Slack:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Spotted on Reddit:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Broadcasted on X:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Making waves on WeChat:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Breaking via Twitch:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Trending via Reddit:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨