Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.
  • I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.
  • I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.
  • Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.
  • They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.
  • I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.