Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

759 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,921

Funny Quotes Topics

13,890

Funny Quotes Images

10,921

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Making waves on Twitch:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Making waves on Snapchat:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Making waves on X:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

…

Commentary:
"Mastering the fine art of digital nonsense: because if life gives you lemons, the internet gives us a megaphone! 🎤😜🍋"

activity, allowed, depressed, depression, expression, fun, fun activity, health, humor, internet, internet activity, mental, mental health, most, nonsense, online, online expression, online humor, person, satire, times, twisted, twisted times

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

The void screams into me.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Going viral on Telegram:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Just landed via Instagram:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Spotted on Threads:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Going viral on X:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Just landed via TikTok:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏