The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account. Posted onMay 19, 2026 by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:When my phone and my bank account are in a race to see who hits zero first ππ±πΈ Related funny posts π€ Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.” Got an email from my bank saying βis your 401k enough to retire onβ and itβs like you are my bank, you know it’s not. So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts. Twitter is my serious account, the funny one is my bank account. My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.