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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Live now on Instagram:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Making waves on TikTok:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Trending via Snapchat:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Trending via TikTok:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you're the Picasso of chaotic life moments! 🎨🙃 #MasterpieceOfMayhem"

art, care, crazy, health, humor, letting, letting go, mental, mental health, once, relaxation, relief, self, self-care, stress, stress relief, subtle, while, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

0

2 months ago

40s, adulthood, age, changes, exhaustion, humor, life, life changes, sleeping, tired, welcome
Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

0

2 months ago

appreciation, communication, everyone, grateful, gratitude, humor, i, sarcasm, say, should, wit
When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

0

2 months ago

door, God, humor, irony, life, perspective, submarine, unfortunately, window
It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

0

2 months ago

activity, destination, eat, food, fun, fun activity, humor, journey, matters, road, road trip, snacks, travel, trip
Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

0

2 months ago

frustration, humor, new, people, show, start, sucks
I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

0

2 months ago

advertising, commercial, commercials, dance, describe, drug, drug commercial, effect, humor, i, medication, side, side effect, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

59 shares on Slack this month:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Live now on Discord:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Just shared via YouTube:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Making waves on X:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Live now on Snapchat:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Trending via Facebook:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Just shared via Messenger:

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨