What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.