Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Making waves on Facebook:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Just shared via Instagram:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Making waves on Telegram:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Trending via Threads:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

2 months ago

0

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Rumor has it that those who haven't watched a single Kardashian show are actually unicorns in disguise 🦄✨. So, congrats on keeping that mythical status intact! Who needs reality TV when you've got the reality of NOT knowing who's dating who in Calabasas? 🤷‍♂️💅"

else, entertainment, here, humor, Kardashian, never, reality, reality TV, say, show, shows, statement, TV, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

0

2 months ago

arms, college, Groundhog, let, single, weather
Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

0

2 months ago

alone, away, bored, boredom, home, home alone, humor, imagine, laundry, me, mind, procrastination, put, relatable, self-reflection, still
Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

0

5 months ago

another, daily, daily routine, day, God, gratitude, humor, routine, screen, screen time, technology, thank, thank you, time
You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

0

2 months ago

being, communication, engagement, humor, insult, media, much, social, social media, tried
I will never stop being a quitter!

0

2 months ago

being, commitment, humor, i, irony, never, never stop, quitter, self-deprecation, stop
I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, came, humor, i, moment, saw, situation, social, social situation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Reddit this month:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

25 shares on Discord this month:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

70 shares on X this month:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,247

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Breaking via WeChat:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Going viral on WeChat:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Just landed via YouTube:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Going viral on Facebook:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Live now on LinkedIn:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴