Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,475

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

I disagree with my politics.

Making waves on X:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Just landed via Threads:

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

Just landed via WeChat:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Just landed via TikTok:

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

Breaking via Telegram:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Just landed via WeChat:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Forget the Dark Web, can we get a Debt Disappearing Web? 🕸️💸😂"

bad, credit, debt, delete, finance, finance joke, financial, hackers, humor, joke, just, mortgage, satire, technology, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

0

2 months ago

Chinese, Chinese government, energy, every, government, humor, me, morning, power, ray, sarcasm, sleepy, sleepy ray, turned, wakefulness
If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

0

3 months ago

affection, girlfriend, humor, little, love, psycho, relationship, time
How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

0

2 months ago

authority, boss, even, guy, humor, i, just, know, skepticism, trust, word, workplace
My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

0

2 months ago

common, common sense, detergent, eat, glue, hair, humor, i, just, label, laundry, laundry detergent, lesson, life, life lesson, me, never, put, read, sense, telling, warning, warning label, whole
I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily life, everything, humor, i, just, life, procrastination, stress, thinking, tired
If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

0

2 months ago

circle, doubt, friendship, humor, relationships, rhombus, suspicion, triangle, trust

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

90 shares on Threads this month:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

74 shares on X this month:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

100 shares on X this month:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

93 shares on Discord this month:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Spotted on X:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Just landed via WeChat:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Just shared via WeChat:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Shared recently on X:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Spotted on X:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Making waves on X:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨