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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.
  • Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.
  • I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”
  • Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.
  • When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.
  • I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.