Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,722

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Love is in the air fryer.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

Going viral on Slack:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Going bananas on TikTok:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Making waves on Messenger:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
This explains why my goldfish never seizes the day… fin-confused! 🐟🤣✨

carpe, Carpe Diem, diem, humor, irony, know, Latin, Latin phrase, life, life motto, means, motto, people, phrase, sarcasm, slang, stupid, stupidity, yolo

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

1 month ago

around, brain, brains, diarrhea, everyone, going, humor, just, mouth, nonsense, place, talking, vomiting, whatever
The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

2 months ago

brain, delete, female, female brain, gone, humor, internet, memory, never, never gone, psychology, something, works
Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

2 months ago

annoyance, annoying, before, conduct, digital, digital interaction, exit, exit interview, humor, i, interaction, interview, me, media, online, online humor, pretty, social, social media, someone, unfollow
It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

5 months ago

bitching, breaking, complaining, frustration, heat, here, hot, hot weather, humor, just, moaning, sweat, weather
You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

2 months ago

ever, everyday, everyday life, frustration, grocery, grocery store, humor, life, movement, moving, rage, road, road rage, slow, slow movement, someone, store, walking
Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

2 months ago

alert, consequences, humor, karma, pay, people, price, relationships, spoiler, treat, treated

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Social media is mental suicide.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

46 shares on YouTube this month:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Spotted on Twitch:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Going viral on X:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Just landed via Messenger:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

Just shared via Twitch:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Broadcasted on X:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨