Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

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I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

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Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

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How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

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Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

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Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

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Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

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Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

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In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.