16 funny owner quotes - Wordgag

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

May 23, 2026

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

May 23, 2026

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

May 21, 2026

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

May 20, 2026

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

May 19, 2026

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

May 19, 2026

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

May 19, 2026

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Mar 31, 2026

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Mar 30, 2026

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Mar 30, 2026

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Mar 30, 2026

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Mar 29, 2026

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Mar 29, 2026

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Mar 27, 2026

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Mar 26, 2026

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Mar 26, 2026