Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly. Posted on7 days ago7 days ago by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:Plot twist: I'm only in it for the pine-scented real estate! π²π€π Related Funny Quotes π€ Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it. Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket. The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, Iβm not helping.” Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people. Christmas adverts: βEat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! Itβs Christmas!β New year adverts: βLook at what youβve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!β