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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Just shared via Instagram:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Spotted on Reddit:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Just shared via Threads:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Going viral on Messenger:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Going viral on Slack:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Just shared via Instagram:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Seen just now on Threads:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.
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Commentary:
"Boyfriends: the seasonal flu 🤧. Reply guys: that one indestructible cockroach 🪳😂."

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Broadcasted on Threads:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Spotted on Reddit:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Trending via Instagram:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

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