Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Going viral on WeChat:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Breaking via TikTok:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Just landed via Instagram:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Trending via Slack:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Trending via Telegram:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Seen just now on X:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Seen just now on Reddit:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you finally get a day off, and your couch turns into your office 🤦‍♂️📺 #WorkaholicLife"

couch, day, day off, home, humor, i, leisure, procrastination, relaxation, screen, sit, stare, staycation, thinking, TV, wait, while, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

0

2 months ago

activity, being, heat, heat wave, humor, indoor, indoor activity, inside, kid, kids, parenting, stuck, wave, well, wine
What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

0

2 months ago

funny question, humor, kind, life, life of the party, party, psychopath, question, wants
Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

0

2 months ago

great, imagine, just, life, pizza, skinny
Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

0

6 months ago

couple, decades, give, heal, healing, humor, long wait, patience, recovery, self-care, should, time, wait, yourself
Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

0

2 months ago

being, feel, feelings, humor, i, life, me, perspective, self-doubt, someone, sometimes, sure, uncertainty, writing
There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

0

2 months ago

burn, cozy, evidence, fire, funny moment, humor, moment, nothing, open, open fire, relaxation, sitting, watching

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Slack this month:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

82 shares on Twitch this month:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

37 shares on Threads this month:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Can I come over and figure you out?

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Trending via Facebook:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Going bananas on Slack:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Spotted on Twitch:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Making waves on Reddit:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨