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Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

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Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

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They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

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Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

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If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

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I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

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Single, not sure how to mingle.