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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Trending via YouTube:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Making waves on Twitch:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Going viral on Telegram:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Spotted on YouTube:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just practicing my Oscar-winning performance of "Oh, for me? I couldn't possibly… okay, just one!" 😇🍪🎭

around, being, biscuits, eating, ever, food, got, handed, humor, pretend, room, situation, snack, social, social situation, surprise, sweet, sweets, temptation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

0

2 months ago

animal, great, happiness, humor, joy, life, little, looking, observation, pet, pets, teeth, weird
If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

0

2 months ago

every, fix, forgetfulness, hell, humor, man, months, need, patience, procrastination, promise, reliability, remind, repair, six
(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

0

1 week ago

Christmas, Christmas present, gift, gift opening, humor, milk, opening, present, remember, said, while, wife
I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

0

2 months ago

everyone, funny observation, headless, hold, humor, i, joke, low, observation, playful, rain, umbrella, weather, weather joke
I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

0

2 months ago

humor, just, mood, mood swings, moody, personality, shuffle, swings
I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

0

2 months ago

day, here, humor, i, just, oxygen, procrastination, relax, sit, think, waste

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Reddit this month:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨