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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,250

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Going bananas on Slack:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Just shared via Snapchat:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Trending via Pinterest:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Just landed via Reddit:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Spotted on Telegram:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Can't decide if I'm more jealous of their shoes or their bank accounts! 💸👠😂

celebrity, city, comedy, humor, i, jealousy, luxury, money, much, satire, sex, show, TV, TV Show, upset, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

0

2 months ago

amusing, animal, animal comparison, chasing, comparison, dance, dance move, dog, humor, i, move, people, quirky, say, self-deprecating, tail, wild, wild dog
I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

0

2 months ago

airport, cough, feel, humor, i, just, observation, people, public, public space, space, travel, waiting
She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

0

2 months ago

ego, humor, love, narcissism, obsession, self, self-love, self-obsession
Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

0

1 month ago

comfort, comfort food, comparison, food, food comparison, humor, little, pillow, pillows, pizza, pizza roll, roll, rolls, snack
Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

0

2 months ago

acquire, brainrot, deep, humor, intellectual, intellectual talk, only, personality, personality trait, skill, talk, trait
Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

0

2 months ago

chore, cooking, dishes, eating, food, humor, kitchen, making, meal, struggle, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

75 shares on Discord this month:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

49 shares on Slack this month:

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Shared recently on TikTok:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Just landed via WeChat:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Making waves on Discord:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Seen just now on Instagram:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Just landed via Facebook:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Just landed via Discord:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨