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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,361

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Going viral on Facebook:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Breaking via Twitch:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Just shared via Twitch:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Just shared via Threads:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Going viral on WeChat:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ha! Mornings are for whispered lullabies, not surprise concerts! 🎶😴🚗"

am, big, blasting, car, change, hate, humor, i, last, mood, morning, morning routine, music, night, person, personal, personal change, personality, routine, same, turn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

0

5 months ago

better, booster, comfort, comfort food, food, form, humor, matter, mood, mood booster, potato, sad, sadness
I can feel your energy from two planets away.

0

2 months ago

away, connection, distance, energy, feel, humor, i, planets, vibe
No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, being, costume, crisis, Halloween, humor, identity, knowing, life, life purpose, mid-20s, need, nothing, purpose, quarter-life, quarter-life crisis, self-discovery, uncertainty, want, year
Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

0

2 months ago

degree, distraction, hole, humor, internet, irony, learning, rabbit, rabbit hole, science, YouTube
My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

0

2 months ago

cat, eats, finicky, humor, i, order, pet, pet humor, taught, Uber, Uber Eats
Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

0

2 months ago

boundary, change, changes, growth, hear, humor, life, making, me, personal, personal growth, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Threads this month:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

20 shares on Discord this month:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

66 shares on X this month:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Seen just now on X:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨