Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,284

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

Going viral on X:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Just landed via Instagram:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Breaking via WeChat:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Just shared via Threads:

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

Going viral on Telegram:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Just shared via TikTok:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

0
I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh no, your bank account has been slimming down like it's on a weight loss medication! 💸💊 Looks like it's in for a bit of a financial detox! 😂 #BankAccountGoals

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Facebook this month:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

58 shares on X this month:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

79 shares on X this month:

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

22 shares on Slack this month:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m addicted to placebos.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,387

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Live now on Pinterest:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Spotted on Snapchat:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Making waves on Twitch:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Going viral on Instagram:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴