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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,889

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Shared recently on Slack:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Shared recently on Twitch:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Just shared via Threads:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Going viral on Messenger:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Live now on Slack:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Shared recently on X:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I've been hanging out at the mousetrap buffet this whole time! 🧀😂🐭

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

1 month ago
calculations, existential, humor, irony, joke, life, math, screwed
Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

1 month ago
alone, alone time, anyone, apps, delete, detox, detoxification, digital, digital detox, digital detoxification, girl, happiness, health, isolation, mental, mental health, phone, self-care, solitude, sometimes, speak, time, true, week
Earth is hard.

1 month ago
challenge, difficulty, Earth, hard, humor, struggle
Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

4 months ago
attitude, determination, doing, everyone, freedom, humor, i, independence, keep, stubbornness, unfortunately, want, whatever
Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

1 month ago
absurdity, fish, food, humor, joke, let, me, monger, only, seafood, stuff, thing, why, wordplay
Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

1 month ago
beautiful, fun, humor, irony, just, laughter, life, sober

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Live now on Twitch:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Just landed via WeChat:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Earth is hard.

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

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I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Earth is hard.

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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