Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,659

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Just landed via Threads:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Going viral on Slack:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Breaking via Snapchat:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Just landed via Telegram:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Shared recently on Slack:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
The moment you realize you're the monarch of Movie Seat Kingdom! 👑🎥🍿

arm, arm rest, awkward, awkward moment, both, funny moment, got, i, mine, moment, movie, movie theatre, movie watching, personal, personal space, rest, space, theatre, thought, watching, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

1 month ago
back, humor, just, later, life, opportunity, patience, timing
Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

1 month ago
aging, face, forehead, humor, side, time, wrinkle
I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

4 weeks ago
business, business teacher, education, fat, humor, i, irony, own, pe, PE teacher, physical, physical education, scam, school, teacher, weight
I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

1 month ago
accept, act, clarity, communication, dumb, humor, humor quote, i, irony, me, sarcasm, say, stubborn, stubborn act, stubbornness, wit
Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

5 months ago
40, attraction, coworker, distance, feet, hot, hours, humor, just, office, proximity, time, week, work
Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

1 month ago
ass, broke, home, house, humor, i, left, Ludacris, money, once, staying, staying in, take

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Trending via Telegram:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Breaking via Messenger:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Trending via Twitch:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Just shared via Instagram:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏