Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,469

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Going viral on Reddit:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Live now on Twitch:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Going viral on Instagram:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Trending via Discord:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Freshly posted on Discord:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Going viral on Slack:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Making waves on TikTok:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Switching from summer goth to autumn goth like a true seasonal fashionista! 🖤🍂👗

almost, away, black, black clothing, bring, change, clothes, clothing, clothing transition, fall, fashion, humor, put, seasonal, seasonal change, summer, time, transition, wardrobe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

0

2 months ago

cold, complain, humor, irony, Russia, sarcasm, weather
Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

0

4 months ago

bad, bad mood, caught, clothes, coincidence, door, door handle, everyday, everyday life, frustration, handle, humor, life, mishap, mood, only, why
Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, around, back, behind, dad, disgust, everything, fun, hands, hands behind back, looking, mild, much, right, walking
Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

0

2 months ago

confidence, dangerous, false, false confidence, genius, humor, ignorant, ignorant man, irony, man, nothing, self-awareness
The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

0

2 months ago

child, confusion, dog, family, humor, husband, noise, sleep, snoring, WTF
You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

0

2 months ago

endurance, humor, know, listening, minutes, never, patience, runs, story, strength, strong, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

23 shares on X this month:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

62 shares on YouTube this month:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

13 shares on X this month:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Seen just now on Slack:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Seen just now on Discord:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Live now on Threads:

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

Just shared via Discord:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Just landed via Threads:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Live now on Twitch:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Spotted on X:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨