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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,806

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Just landed via Instagram:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Broadcasted on Threads:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Trending via Slack:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Making waves on Reddit:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

Making waves on Threads:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Just shared via Threads:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
Switching from summer goth to autumn goth like a true seasonal fashionista! 🖤🍂👗

almost, away, black, black clothing, bring, change, clothes, clothing, clothing transition, fall, fashion, humor, put, seasonal, seasonal change, summer, time, transition, wardrobe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

1 month ago
anecdote, chiropractics, conversation, ghost, guy, humor, i, massage, pretty, quick, shut, therapist, told
I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

1 month ago
advice, alone, business, drama, humor, i, involvement, let, should, try
Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

1 month ago
eat, family, food, fooled, house, humor, kids, parenting, someone
You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

1 month ago
awkward, awkward situation, experience, first experience, forget, hr, humor, kiss, meeting, memory, never, situation, workplace, workplace humor
I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

5 days ago
behavior, genre, house, house music, humor, i, introvert, joke, listen, music, music genre, only, personality, social, social behavior
I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

1 month ago
activity, Facebook, free, free time, humor, imagine, lie, naked, people, relationship, time, top

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Shared recently on Telegram:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Just landed via Facebook:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Spotted on Reddit:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Just shared via Threads:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

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Activity Log ✨

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

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It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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