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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.
  • I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.
  • I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.
  • It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.
  • I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.
  • If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.